Merely Lucky

First of all, it is started from a single sentence:

I got accepted. In my dream university, University of Indonesia. Yeay.

The announcement was on June 29th, supposed to be on 7 pm. Yet, I can't help myself to keep refreshing the website, logging in numerous times, in hope the result came up before time scheduled. And it did. On 5 pm, it appeared.
Me. Got. Accepted.
I glanced at my mobile screen, and thought if it was some kind of joke. I started doubting if the link belongs to the official website, or if there was an error....

I sit calmly afterwards, waited until 7 pm to see if the result remain the same. And it still did!
I, who was filled with cynicism before, bewildered, and later the doubt turn into happiness and excitement.

But the euphoria won't last long. Hearing my fellows who did not make it through, the joy soon tainted by grief.

The more I listed the name of my friends who failed, the more I thought that this is just rather... irrational.

Some (or may I say, 'quite many'?) people tend to relate this to one's cleverness degree. Majority thinks that this is just as simple as answering questions as much as you could, getting marks as high as possible. Then those who did not get accepted are simply...what...not smart enough?

Wrong.

I happened to have the answer key (well, they have spread all over the internet, you can find it easily). I then matched my answer with my friend, and found that our marks are slightly different. I got approximately 55%, and she got 51%. Yet, I got accepted, and she did not.

I also participated in so-called quick count (yeah, like ones they do in general election) in a forum. There was a guy who scored way higher than I did. He was aiming for getting into Political Science department, which supposedly, supposedly, was rather easier to get into than Communication department. Yet, I got accepted, and he did not.

There is also another fellow whom I know she happened to attend BTA (some kind of course that helps students to learn the materials for university entrance test) and she eventually scored splendidly there, ranked 1st to 3rd among 300 students or so in each try-outs. Surely I was way below her.
And she did not get accepted. Bam. Mind-blown.
I was so going to pull my hair when I found out about that, for whateversake!

Then there is a friend whom I recently got acquainted with, put Psychology as her 1st choice, and Communication as 2nd choice. The entrance rate of Communication is lower than Psychology, hence her priority list is technically wrong, but since she prefer Psychology to Communication, then it is okay I guess.
What so curious is... the fact that she got accepted in Communication instead of Psychology.
You see, considering the entrance rate, when her marks are enough to enter Communication, supposedly, again, supposedly, it will be automatically enough to enter Psychology too. But the result did not say so. Logically failed.
Now, it is officially absurd.

 This is nothing like daily exam, which errors you can find and then you can beg the teacher to revise your marks. No. This... we could not really know our actual result, or our rivals'. We would not know if there was any 'X' factor put into consideration of our acceptance or rejection.

Hence, I could not help myself raising my eyebrows when I saw several postings in a forum I visited.
The author bragged so much about the superiority of public universities, especially ITB, UI, UGM, and despised those who entered private universities. He agreed that 3,5 GPA reached in private universities could be considered as an equal of 2,5 GPA reached in public universities. He described how low the quality of private  universities is (according to him). He cited that those who entered private universities simply retarded, etc etc. I do not have to elaborate any further, do I?
I do not understand how someone who 'so-called-genius' enough to enter public university could turn out to be all cocky and shallow.

I can not say there is not any jots of proud in me regarding my university entrance, but to be that conceited... I must have disgusted with myself.

Now, now, if you say that perhaps those who got accepted had worked harder than anyone who failed (so they may deserve to show some vanity), I am very sorry to say I have to object your very opinion.
I might be the person with the lowest effort among anyone I know, and please do note that I am not trying to be modest here... Really. I feel so undeserving compared to how hard my friends worked out for this.

If you say that perhaps those who got accepted had stronger fighting spirit compared to the rest, I must say that I have, most probably, worst competitive mentality ever. I tend to experience some kind of... mentality breakdown right before the D-day. I cried the night before the day of written test in National Science Olympic. Similar thing happened on the night of July 30th. Thanks to my bf who seems to always know the right words to console me.

If you say that perhaps those who got accepted had intenser will to get into their dream university, I... Nah, you would not say that, would you? We all know that all of the SNMPTN participants dying to be enrolled (A bit exaggerating, but more or less so. You get my point.)

The thing is... after elaborating this much I still am not certain why on earth I got accepted.
Guess I merely am lucky. And that motivates me not to spill this opportunity.

Sincerely hoping that it will do that to you too.





P. S. : To those who did not get accepted yet, you are definitely not plainly dumb. I really am wishing for the best regarding the result of your upcoming/past written test :)