Have you ever
afraid that whole your life, you will end up neither doing something nor make significant deeds?
I have.
In fact, I do feel that way
Every single day
Hearing stories about geniuses who made achievements I can't even think of,
people who have successfully succeeded and been brilliant in their youth,
is motivating.
But yet also frightens me.
I do not see myself in the future as housewife who has nothing to do instead of taking care of households each day.
I have high standards.
I have dreams, I have hopes.
I have plans.
I even preached that I should have done something before 20, something I could be proud of
And to think that I have less than 3 years to go...
is rather depressing.
Why?
If my anxiety come true: that I had done nothing until the moment I passed my 20th birthday
I really am afraid
that all the plans I have planned won't go along as well
And I will die being nobody
...
It is 00.02 AM here. A day had just passed.
And if you ever wonder, why the hell I write this very unimportant writing
It is because I am terrified
that I will waste another day again doing nothing.
dear deary klara
ReplyDeletewe know how many people populate the earth we live on. hillarious many!!!
and if all people turn out as idiots / geniuses / mediocre people... so boring
so having varieties has to be interesting then.
remember. Standards are invented by commercial people .
and as human, we're best known as never be satisfied in material needs & others credits.
we forget about having peaceful & happy life. Try to balance the needs & happiness.
being grateful, we'll see the world more colourful with what we have now. No more fear.
Sure, this world is abundantly filled with people of all kind. But among those individuals, don't we tend to wish to be one of those who stand out?
ReplyDeleteSure, standards are all made-ups. Different environments may have different standards. I even have my own. If I don't happen to meet theirs, I wish to fulfill at least mine.
...Maybe I'm just too young. You know, youngsters' spirit. Tend to be reckless and risk-taker, unsatisfactory and ungrateful. Want to achieve this and that. Indeed I find your comment to be insightful. Yet, I just still can't completely absorb that. Life will find its way tempering me though. Maybe I will, someday, wake up and find out that nothing's truer than what you've said. That I should have valued littlest thing I have, as little as (people thing) happiness is.
Thanks for dropping by :)