SMOKING KIDS

Oh, the irony
Oh, the clashing concept of innocence and so-called adult things.
Don't you just love it?
The way one taints another

beautifully.


Frieke Janssens was working on a photography project called 'SMOKING KIDS'. These are screenshots from his 'behind-the-scenes' video.
Click here to see his amazing artworks.


P.S. : Bunch of thanks to Valen for sharing these great pieces of art in her post. 

Dark Ages

When you have settled the point you've wanted to reach, it would be rather easy to plan steps in order to get you to it, though it wouldn't be easy to stay faithful to your plans.
But what if you haven't?
What if you don't know?

I don't know what I've been aiming in life
I wander aimlessly
This depressing thought, corroborated with hormone instability due to monthly period (which I didn’t aware of) , brought me to think of extreme choices
I thought of retaking SNMPTN test in order to change major,
I thought of paying my own tuition
I thought of taking hiatus academically
Pretty insensible, but I took these choices seriously at that time
I questioned whether my decision to be involved in organisations was right or not
I try many things impulsively, because I'm afraid I'll do nothing
I don't know whether it will relate to what I've been aiming or not
I don't know whether I could gain anything from it or it rather costs me things instead
I got lost.


Seems like,
These are the darkest ages in my life.

(Not in term of life adversity, of course,
but rather in term of life direction)


But, as they say,

"It's always been darkest before dawn."

One, probably, must always falls to the lowest level before she can jump to reach the highest point in her life.
How could one knows what success is when she knows no failure?
Didn't J. K. Rowling has to taste the bitterness of failure marriage and joblessness before she finally become so very determined upon what she had been doing?
Didn't Paulo Coelho has to experience the word 'lost' itself before he finally was spiritually enlightened?

Hence, maybe, if I hang on
This phase will eventually pass on
I will eventually see a glimpse of illumination at the end of the road

22. 2. 2012

After getting out of one of those classes,

and was like 'What the hell was that?!'

Imagination

Few days ago, all of sudden I am reminded of a writing I once wrote when I was a kid, seated in elementary.
As long as I can remember it was pretty absurd in certain way that I grew curious of how would it sounded like if I reread it now. I then tried to find where the file is (I remember I typed and saved it in my computer), but I found nothing. Seems like it was lost due to the reformatting that once done upon the hard-disk.

Anyway, I am going to try to recall what I wrote back then. Can't rewrite it for you in the exact words, of course, so I will just describe what it was like and about.

The writing was inferred from my thorough observation upon this two (familiar to you, I believe) pictures.

When I looked at the first picture (Winter Forest, so it is entitled),
I couldn't think about anything but the images of a poor lumberman who was lost between the woods,
wandering hopelessly in order to find his way back to his wooden hut.

I could even imagine the fear he must had been feeling all the time, which turned into distraught. He yearned for warmth he could have been experiencing on that very moment, by sitting in front of the fireplace, which fire was lit from pieces of lumber he had collected and been carrying all along, and had made his back turned quite sore. He had been screaming for help, crying in desperation for quite awhile, until it was too hurtful for his throat to persist on doing such useless effort. No one would have heard him. No one could have been taking a walk deep into the forest in this frosty blizzard.
Indeed, no one.
And then he was there, lying on the snow, wishing so dearly that the suffering caused by the unmercifully cold weather, and, moreover, the thoughts of his dying alone, would soon end.
After a moment or two, he took his last breath away.

....THAT very ridiculous imagination later caused me to experience inexplicable fright and unpleasant sensation each time I look at the picture. I got so emotionally involved with the things I had been imagining. And I turned to dislike the picture very, very much.

The second picture (Blue Mountain) gave no better impression for me.
It seemed like I could hear the howl of the distressed missing man.
I got extremely terrified.

* * *

Sadly now, when I look at those pictures, my mind tells me nothing about this picture, other than the fact that they are merely pictures of random scenery used by Windows as screensaver. I could barely feel the fright I used to own.

...I miss my imagination as a child.

Questions which Remain Mystery(ies)

Recently, my mind keeps enquiring ridiculous questions which no one would know the answers (well, merely my assumption. Never try to ask my acquaintances though.)
I think it would be kind of profligate to make single post for each enquiry.
Therefore, I decide to compile them in this very posting.
Enjoy the absurdity of my non-sense thoughts!


#1
When we are living our lifes,
does it mean we are struggling to write our own fate,

or,

no matter how hard our efforts are,
we are actually doing nothing but throwing ourselves into what has been written for us?


#2
Human can't be detached from labels.
Numbers, names, nicknames...
I wonder
in which label God would call us when he talks to us
(since I've never experienced such conversation),
for our names are actually human-made?



#3
Jan 16th, 2012
After watching 'The Fight Club'
I wonder how would I live my life
If I haven't told how to live a decent one
by parents, by teachers, friends
or society

...Would I live rather freely
or I would just end up wandering aimlessly?




#4
How does exactly one (who acclaimes that he has good instinct and such)
distinguish between 'instincts' and 'paranoia'?




#...






Will be updated regularly.
Feel free to response if you think you have answers to my senseless curiosity.

Determination

It's unfair, is not it.
To observe that some people know what they want in life as soon as they learn to talk,
(I'm not exaggerating it. Through Wikipedia I found out recently that some people actually do so.)
while the rest still wondering what really the purpose of their life is when their hair already start to whiten?

Determination.
Is one's ability to possess it brought by nature, from birth
or is it completely autonomous, by nurture?

If it's by nature,
then is it true,
that some people are meant to be something,
and the rest are going to be just nobody?

If it's by nurture,
why... in such young age?

Unfair.

God (?)

Tuhan, Kamu di mana?

Ketika namamu dijadikan tameng untuk pencitraan semata
oleh orang-orang munafik itu...
...Di mana Kamu, Tuhan?

Ketika kami mulai merasa hati nurani ini bukan bisikanMu,
melainkan hanya akumulasi dan bentukan norma sosial...
...Di mana Kamu, Tuhan?

Ketika kami mulai membuat justifikasi-justifikasi
dan segalanya jatuh dalam relativitas...
Hitam dan putih menjadi abu...
...Di mana Kamu, Tuhan?








...Tuhan?




















Tuhan?




Kamu di sana?





*meraba-raba dalam gelap*

Paradoxical Enquiry

Random scratch during boring session of certain occasion.

Here and there, I see people shouting and wailing about death cause by starvation,
about how unequal and unfair it is...
They say, approximately 25,000 people die of hunger everyday.
What a perplexing statistic and fact, isn't it?

But

I also see how certain people complaining and becoming anxious about how abundant today's world population is. And it keeps growing, due to inability of third world countries to halt birth rate. Failed programs to educate their citizens.

This is where I think it's getting odd.
Why, on earth, do people keep on persisting to decrease death rate caused by poverty, abortions, and such,
when it is actually helping them to prevent uncontrolled growth of earth inhabitants?

Ah, my questioning the motive of people's persistence seems ridiculous, doesn't it?
It's understandable that they keep on doing so:
For the sake of humanity.
Yeah.

But what if I view it this way,
that those phenomenons are simply the way life trying to balance itself?
Balancing between life and death.
Yin and Yang.

Of course, if we view it specifically, case per case of starvation, what I've been saying will seem inappropriate.

After all, they suffer.
It was not instant death. They suffer to the point they have no more urge to live,
wishing that death will approach them himself.
Definitely, this is not the ideal condition we would wish to happen to us.

..........................

Ouch.
This macroscopical point of view makes me sounds cruel, doesn't it?
Either this blows your mind, or you find it as silly as other fallacies are.
Enlighten me, someone?